(approximately 9 minutes of the film)
Alien forest
Plot. Lovebirds (Mike and Cheryl) staggered around the reserve, oh, met a family of religious psychopaths.
It’s not for me to defend The Wrong Turn, but in contrast to this misunderstanding, Schmidt’s film automatically turns into a masterpiece. “Alien Forest” is a damn uninteresting slasher that loses to many colleagues in the workshop. Stamp by stamp. It wasn't a highlight. Gray.
The main characters claim to be the most inconspicuous victims in the history of horror. But the degree of inadequacy in the “Alien Forest”, hand on heart, reaches the maximum value. Check out the scene with the smart hunters (samogon sold). Why did Mike and Cheryl go any further? Okay, okay, they're brave. After a few minutes – erm, these “dare men” decide to get rid of the bullets. Mat! Logic - Awwwww...
What you are doing, I will not worry about you, I could cut off my own heads. What surprised me most was the family of psychopaths. Or rather, their motivation. Dear scriptwriter of “Alien Forest” – stop with drugs, dear. Maniacs who force their victims to have sex (!) for the sake of their offspring – before the eyes (literally for a second) flashed “Pink flamingos” by John Waters, a-hee-hee. Only John originally filmed a fierce author's thrash underground.
My head hurt. Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the orphanage and adopt a child? Clowns! Sit for 9 months with screaming people in shackles while they give birth there. Freddy Krueger's not on you, ah heh heh. In the director's chair (a charlatan) - Tony Giglio. A few years before “Alien Forest”, Giglio concocted a quite digestible one-time action movie “Chaos” (where Jason Statham played).
Giglio’s attempt to dive into horror completely failed. It’s a boring and stupid movie. 96 minutes of longing. And the murders are not saved (by the way, they can be counted here on the fingers). All of them are nearer to the end. I'm not talking about depressing torture. Be brave to skip!
Oh, I don't know where to start. What about the name? The original film is called Timber Falls, i.e. can be translated as Timber Falls. Of course, the film with the name “Tiber Falls” does not inspire as much fear (well, at least on the Russian viewer) as “Alien Forest”, but there is one funny moment in the film: when the main character approaches the index “Timber Falls” and says:
- You know, the Alien Forest route leads directly to the waterfall. (In short, thank you to our translators)
A young couple, following this route, stumbles upon a group of men with guns who behave like gopniks. But our heroes do not get out of balance and still easily get rid of them. But the thing is, if I were them, I'd already spit on this trip through the wilderness and go home with my soul mate, eat popcorn and watch sitcoms. But no. A young couple decides to spend the night in this place. So the main character in the morning does not find anything smarter than to swim naked in the lake while her boyfriend sleeps.
In order not to smear all the “original” plot twists of this “cool” film, I will tell you his recipe: Take the forest of Virginia from “Turn the wrong way”, a young couple from “Paradise Lake” and the subsequent mockery of them, and crazy fanatics from “Sylent Hill”, add more ketchup and Alien Forest GOT!
But let’s be honest: this film, despite the fact that it is very similar to the above films (where it is strong, where it is not very /i>) and not close to their level. It’s not as fun and trivial as Turns, it’s not as disgusting and terrifying as Silent Hill, and the saddest thing is that it’s not as scary as Lake Eden. The problem is not with the actors or the shooting, but with the script: it’s just banal and stupid. It seems that they tried to make the plot original, weaving another religion (something), but in the end, something completely indigestible turned out.
At the end of the day, I didn't like the movie. I couldn’t see it with a serious face. If anyone likes this movie, then for God’s sake, look at your health. I just want to point out that, for example, after watching Lake Eden, I was impressed, because it was a good thriller. And in "Alien Forest" there were a couple of good tense moments, but the whole movie can not go on them.
4 out of 10
Another slasher about a sick family, mass-family psychosis in America would always be very common, and an unsuccessful couple who decided to enjoy the gifts of nature.
Absolutely nothing new film does not present, templates the characters themselves, as their dialogues and actions, each plot twist is more than predictable. But the maniac motivation was surprised - if you want offspring, you can turn to orphanages, they seem to be quite tolerable in social terms, but for some reason this option was not considered at all, much more interesting, and easier, much less bureaucracy, to catch poor people and force them to copulate.
Usually such pictures are stuffed with bloody scenes, freaks and all sorts of stupid running. Here, each of these components is available, but in such a tiny amount that it seems that for one tick. The main screen time is devoted to moronic-one-sided religious stories, even howling is not enough, which, of course, is not forgivable.
Not without the main irritant - inadequate actions of the main characters, there are many of them, here is one example. There was a conflict with local boobs, a very piquant nature, the next morning the girl goes naked to swim in the lake, I just crossed my fingers so that those guys fell down and finally did what they just have to do. She's a fool, she doesn't care, and they'll enjoy it. But it was a little different.
The film is not recommended for viewing, it is nothing different from this horde of similar horror films, which now cause only one smile. Don't waste your time!!
3 out of 10.
I just needed a background film so that my majesty would entertain his sound, and that I would not miss anything interesting. So I poked my finger at random, and my finger hit the movie with the dubious title Alien Forest.
Films like Alien Forest, I'm sure you've seen many times. Or is Alien Forest like them? All in all, it's pretty standard -- a young couple who didn't watch "The Wrong Turn" and went to West Virginia, even though everyone has long known the place was deaf and dangerous. But instead of cannibal freaks, which I was just sure of, especially after a cursory look at the poster, the main characters met local, not quite adequate and very religious, and what they believed in is a separate topic.
Despite the predictability and dullness of the plot, the film was pretty well shot. I suspect that this was facilitated by director Tony Giglio, who had experience working on unknown to me personally, but not low-rated projects. Operator Toby Moore, who also managed to fill his hand on numerous TV series, gives us a pleasant picture, the production artists strained and gave a little blood to the standard entourage, and all this did not look poor-cheap.
The most unexpected and pleasant surprise for me was the lack of standard stupidity of the characters. They did not infuriate with stupid decisions, rash actions, bravado or unnecessary heroism. So I didn't want them killed or maimed, I even started worrying about them. I really liked that they did not make a man a rag, like in "Paradise Lake", and his war friend - a stupid chicken. They are here on an equal footing and act as a well-coordinated team, there is interaction between them and in addition to sex (yes, moralists, prepare to turn away), which is generally rare.
I also liked the director’s attempt to give us a few different maniac candidates. Usually, such films are much more straightforward, and, although the attempt was not very successful, but I will count it.
What actors. There are no personalities that I know very well, except for Josh Randall, who roams the TV shows, which I honestly haven't watched. His partner Brianna Brown, judging by her filmography, is always somewhere busy, and together they make a good duo. And among the secondary characters there are no actors openly overplaying or dullly looking at the camera.
Everything seems good, and my feedback should be positive. What's wrong? Despite its good quality, the film is completely faceless. It is devoid of any individuality, any atmosphere, zest, beans, call it what you want. You can view it and forget about it after a few hours, and then a year later you stumble upon it and do not recognize it, you can even look at it a second time and never remember what you have already seen. So if you need a background, then this is the perfect option - a movie that you don't need to look at because there's not much to look at. Or do you really like movies about the terrible population of West Virginia?
3 out of 10
Maniacs with God’s Intent: Another Case of Survival in the Forest, Where Holiness Opens the Way to Sins
Why is everyone so excited about this movie? You can't please another viewer. I really don't understand what's wrong with "Alien Forest." What did you expect? It’s an ordinary thriller, it has its flaws, it won’t be The Cabin in the Woods, but why? Why not blame a poor film for sins unknown to him? He didn't keep you tense while you gulped popcorn with one eye on your cell phone? I can't do without sarcasm. Having glimpsed the reviews, I expected to see something absurd, stupid, funny, some thrash. It turns out that someone was not satisfied with the lack of liters of blood and kilograms of meat, for example. Oh yes, an ironclad argument if you're an insatiable sadist. Of course, what a thriller it is, if after it you do not want to taste human beings. God, I was outraged by the abundance of negativity in relation to the normal, missing stars from the sky "Alien forest". Guys, you're just sloppy, no offense. There's no reason to be so angry. The project deserved at least average marks, not singles.
Personally, almost nothing annoyed me during the viewing. Again, there are flaws and the script was written as if on the move. Definitely not a masterpiece. But watching the events was fascinating. The story tells us about a young couple who went out in the woods on the wrong path. They will face human manifestations of evil, but they will not be those ordinary maniacs who want to enjoy the pain of others. As usual, no one can be trusted, and gradually the Aborigines tear off their masks, making known their true intentions. No way out. Giving up would be too easy. And I am sure that if some viewers guessed / guessed who is a threat, then few (or no one) did not think about what the true motives are. However, they do not shine with originality, although this is better than just wanting to sacrifice someone pointlessly, as in other slashers. And what the wicked do to justify their actions. Funny and unthinkable. Such people are better to hate, to avoid, because they are the most abnormal and terrible, if they know how to make their own selfishness a holy tool of destruction, and smear morality to the limits of insanity.
What's next is easy to guess. He and She will resist the cruel attacks and seek a way out of the trap. Watching rescue attempts is fascinating, do not exaggerate, which was boring and tedious - in this case, you have seen very few really bad films. “Alien forest” should be scolded only for small things – for the fall of heroes in a flat place or quickly healing wounds. Maybe I myself misunderstand something, but for one time the thriller fits exactly, imho.
6 out of 10