Screenwriters-manatees nervously smoke in the You decide to waste your time on some random movie. Find something fresh, turn it on without a second thought. And two hours later, you take your monocle out of the cooled tea, lift your jaw and go collect the rags of your unhappy brain all over the room.
How do you describe history? In a nutshell, that's impossible. Really. The storyline is a Frankenstein monster, parts for which scrapers are scrubbed along the barns and shoals. You can never guess which part will be next, and the plot turns out to be completely unpredictable, far from being in the good sense of the word. If you want a visual explanation of what a random number generator is, then here you go. It was like making up a story on the go. By the way, the main actors themselves were engaged in the script, and they also produced the film, which makes the situation especially deplorable.
The special effects are hilarious. They are few, but every time – just to tears. Even Asylum has done better, that's the truth.
The cast was recruited in the warehouse of dummies, and the lines were given to them so that if you change the characters in places or change their number in any direction, no one will notice that something is wrong.
But the special juice is the local villains, a family couple of child kidnappers. For such an enchanting acting game, it is necessary to give a rubber Oscar with a vibrating motor: of all the mannequins, only these geniuses of the acting game showed the class, turning “horrors / drama / thriller / detective” (as stated in the profile of the film) into a junior play-morning about an aunt who was captured by fabulous trolls-man-eating.
But no matter how shocking the randomness of the plot, disgusting acting, poor directing and ridiculous special effects, we have to admit that this film is unsuitable even as a thrash comedy. It lasts almost two hours, and God, how boring it is for all its absurdity!
I spend many hours of my life wasting, but for some reason I feel especially sorry for these two.