Whether I should have seen this movie, yes.
However, I thought for a long time and a lot, but I did not dare to evaluate the film. It was too controversial in the end.
Instead, a literary cartoon was born.
Director Yorgos Lanthimos (YL) and actress Emma Stone (ES) once met.
Wow! Hey, Emma, how you doing!
ES: Hey! Great! Good to see you!
LE: Emma I have a script for a new film, a great deep plot, a serious budget, a future leader of the box office, and the main role than not a contender for the Oscars.
ES: Wow! Sounds amazing! I almost agree!
LE: Yeah, yeah, I don't have any doubts about you as an actress, but there are some aspects that I would like to agree on before signing the contract. . .
ES: Okay, what's the matter?
YL: You see, there will be some explicit scenes with the main character in the film. . .
ES: Oh -- well, we were working with you on the painting The Favorite, and I was on the scene where I exposed my right breast. I think I'm ready to repeat that experience.
YL: Ems ... I'm thinking about a slightly different aspect of the scene.
ES: Yes, yes, I understand, for the sake of art, I'm willing to bare all my breasts in the frame.
YL: Uh, not exactly breasts.
ES: What? Should I bare my buttocks? Well, that's a PG-13 or higher rating, Yorgos, you should be warned about this right away!
LE: Well, yes and no, there's gonna be a bed scene with a partner.
ES: Wow, I was thinking! Well, the bed scene, all right, let's get a camera angle, I'll be covered in the right places with a shadow or a bed linen, okay.
YL: Uh, no, it's just going to be a bed and the main characters are actually copulating in a sexual act.
ES: Oh, no, it sounds like we're making an adult movie.
LE: No, just a bed scene showing such feelings of the main characters as sincerity like Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in the Titanic, ardent temper like Sharon Stone in the Main Instinct, this is a story about the evolution of the character and determination of the main character through the realization of their own desires and selfish interests. . .
ES: Wow, that sounds good, I think I'll take the part! Let's have a bed scene.
LE: Yes, yes, nothing complicated, some 5 explicit sexual action scenes in one shooting day. You'll be fine.
ES: What? What the hell? Are we making pornography?? ?
LE: No, the abundance of such scenes only emphasizes the wild nature of the main character, which, I hope, you can realize using all your talent and experience.
ES: Uh-huh. Who is my partner in these scenes?
YL: Mark Ruffalo
ES: What??? Is that a rough animal? He was washed his last time before graduation in college, and you want him to do some candid scenes with me? Are there any other options? Maybe DiCaprio?
LE: We're not going to have that budget even if I pawn my ass, mostly because nobody gives much for it.
ES: How about Rayne Gosling?
LE: He is a narcissistic pedant and perfectionist who will draw all the attention of the film to himself.
ES: Maybe at least Tom Hardy?
IL: The studio approved the Ruffalo brand, accept it
ES: Damn, okay, I hope it's quick.
LE: Just for mutual understanding, the scenes involve having sex in missionary, rider, dog, standing, lying, on the side, on the table. . .
ES: Damn! We're making fucking porn!
LE: Yes, no, the variety of sexual scenes reveals the knowledge of the new in the intimate life of the main character. The path from a virgin to a sophisticated partner is short in accordance with the writer’s deep idea of the feminine principle and self-discovery, the place of women in Victorian society.
ES: Uh, doubtful, but okay. Well, if it's a really worthwhile story, I'm willing to do it even if there are two partners.
IL: Twenty
ES: What's ten?
YL: Twenty
ES: Yorgos! It's fucking group porn! You make porn!
LE: Yes, no, through many partners, the main character gets a variety of experiences, discovering with each new partner different aspects of human nature and personal views.
ES: Uh, doubtful, let's say.
YL: What about the vegetation between your legs?
ES: Yorgos! What the hell! What questions?
LE: Well, look, the film takes place in a fictional world analogue of the mid-20th century, where all women had unshaven crotch, so the main character must have time-appropriate paraphernalia that would correspond to the spirit and mores of that time.
ES: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
YL: There will be a very important scene where you will be tied with ropes, there will be a gag in your mouth and petting with your leg.
ES: Yorgos! It's BDSM! We're making fucking twisted porn!
LE: No, there's a deep meaning to it! The main heroine throughout history meets with extreme life situations, whether they are starving and dying in poverty children or noble gentlemen powerlessly fallen to base and perverted sexual desires.
ES: Uh, so be it.
LE: And also nuance, the girlfriend of the main character will lick her vagina and clitoris, in a strong feminist scene.
ES: Yorgos! Damn it, it's group bdsm Lasbian porn!
LE: No, this is a highly cultural philosophical ethical picture about the study of themes of morality and humanity, about freedom of will and thought, about the rights of women in a patriarchal society, about self-determination and self-identification of the individual.
ES: Oh, okay.
Some time later:
Host: And the porn Oscar 2024 in the nomination “Discovery of the year” goes to... Emma Stone for Poor Unhappy
ES: Yorgos! Damn it! I told you you made porn! Damn group bdsm Lasbian porn!