I really liked this movie for its truthfulness. On screens, we are used to seeing the friendship of two people as unconditional understanding and respect for each other, where there is no place for selfishness and betrayal. But this is not always how things happen in life.
In this case, we are watching the friendship of two polar opposite girls. Marina is bright, emotional, bold, but at the same time unprincipled and selfish. Holly is reserved, insecure, rational, in a word, a “good girl.” Girlfriends have different upbringing, they are taught different values, they have different interests, but this does not prevent girls from being friends. Opposites, as a rule, attract; we are often attracted to people who have qualities that are not in us.
It is the difference of characters that is the core of the friendship of Holly and Marina and at the same time a stumbling block. Girlfriends go through envy, jealousy, competition, but they still can not give up this friendship, which has turned into codependency.
Over time, it turns out that behind the daring facade of Marina, there is a long-standing resentment against her friend, the desire to surpass her and assert herself. She's not thinking about Holly's feelings at this point, she's acting quickly and impulsively, feeding her ego. And that doesn't change with age. Marina did not outgrow her grievances, but because of her personality, she stopped in her development. Marina constantly changes her hairstyles and style of clothing, because she has nothing more to offer the world, there is no stability and unity in her image, she is always different, and never finds her place in life.
Unlike Holly - empathic, well-read, with a deep inner world. Every once in a while, Holly forgives Marina because she truly loves her friend. As she grows older, Marina’s friendship has become toxic and unbearable; she no longer wants to be “Chorina.” Holly outgrown that friendship while Marina wasn't playing. The men in this story are exchangeable coins, with the exception of Nate, Holly's main love interest, and the only one Marina is not destined to get to, and that only because he is her brother.
In my opinion, this film is much closer to reflecting the life concept of female friendship than more famous films on this topic.
A movie about friendship? Absolutely not. Typical relationship of tyrant and victim. There is no mutual support, assistance or mutual benefit. There is only the maintenance of each other's complexes, so as not to leave their comfort zones.
But... The film is still useful to watch, because there is no typical obscenity and stereotypes, as is the case in many stories about friendship.
What kind of audience does the film target?
For teenagers, I don’t think so. Drugs, smoking, alcohol and multiple sexual intercourse are shown as part of a teenager’s normal life. Of course, in every movie where something like this is shown, you don’t need to insert the voiceover of the announcer who explains what it is “how” and you shouldn’t do it, but you could introduce a negative element that reminds you what it can lead to. Let’s say one of their friends dies or remains crippled, it would suggest that such games are too dangerous, and not the fact that you can get away with it. As the heroines of the film, or as the mother of one of them, who after an overdose in all the following scenes is fresh as a pickle.
For the older generation in the film is useful zero. Understand their problems and get closer? No, this movie is definitely not an assistant here.
As a result, the film should be watched by middle-aged people, about 20-30 years old, who already know for sure what is bad, see from the outside all the absurdity of such relations covered by the word “friendship”. And for someone, the film can open their eyes to the real situation in such relationships, and what this ultimately leads to.
Good ending. And as it happens in life, a seemingly weak person is much stronger than someone who has been a leader all his life. To realize everything, admit to the problem and finally get rid of those who drag you back all your life, or rather who you allow to do it, sit down and think about your environment, especially close, whether there are cunning manipulators in it, this is, in my opinion, the message of the film.
It took too many years for the heroine of the film to realize and understand the real state of affairs, but she is glad that at least it did not happen too late, when nothing could be corrected.
So, a film about false friendship, about the importance of being able to talk to people there and recognize manipulators who pull you through life only backwards, that would feel your worthlessness, you were always with them and in their shadow, that would be from whom to feed on energy, as well as at whose expense you could assert yourself at the right moment.
With you, they are a strong person, and without you, no one.
The screenshot on the trailer - the scene of two teenage girls taking a bath together - reminded me of Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures. Like there, "With You and Without You" was meant to be a kind of friendship story. In Jackson, this friendship is based on shared hobbies, interests, pursuits, it is sincere and strong; friendship, because of which the fear of losing each other leads even to murder, in the same film there is no friendship as such at all.
Marina and Holly are completely different girls. The first is frivolous, ecstatic, bold and determined, the second is serious, thoughtful, diligent, but guided. Well, it would seem that the opposites complement each other. But the fact is that Marina throughout the tape shows a complete inability to love anyone. Her selfishness, envy, lies, jealousy of the success of her friend in her studies, love and career expose some sick relationship to the viewer. Marina can not allow her friend to have something of her own, to be happy, she needs a loser who will “look at her mouth”, but no one would respect her herself, except for questionable successes in the hunt for sexual partners, of which she is proud. She curses her friend behind her back, doesn’t support her in anything, and does everything to separate her from Ned, Holly’s first and strongest feelings, and the other people in her life. What about Holly? “I no longer like being one with you. You're choking me. When I'm with you, I feel like an ugly, underage, desperate loser. I'm stuck.” She was too weak and undecided for too long to cut the knot and go her own way.
Horina is a derivative of their names, so they grew together like Siamese twins: both are difficult, uncomfortable, but impossible without each other.
The relationship between the two girls began only because their houses were nearby, and there were apparently no other women of the same age to play together. And on a good note, swing riding and jumping over the rope should have ended. But they continued to painfully parody something beautiful, perhaps the best in people’s lives, sincere and selfless, called “friendship”, until one of them dared to go away and start her life, without reproach and pessimistic predictions (“You will not succeed! You will die in New York without me.
Not bad camera work and editing; the soundtrack is quite relevant, not annoying. All actors coped well with their roles, especially Anna Friel in the image of Barbie with a hangover.
6 out of 10
Red because the abstract promised a story of true friendship, and not poisoned by the poisons of envy and ill-will narrative of the lives of different, but dependent on each other people.
A carefree, democratic time... There is no lie, meanness, selfishness, hatred, envy, for this is childhood. When you begin to grow up, re-aware of explicit actions / actions, they begin to change their appearance. Things appear in you, whether adults or children. The question arises: where is the line between children and adults and is this line at all? When did you grow up? When did you realize that your actions were bad? When did you first fall in love? When did you lose your virginity? When was the last time you felt sorry for yourself?
This is the story of two such relatives, but such dissimilar girls / girls / women. At the heart of the dilemma is: what should be / what is better to be: beautiful, but “having not read War and Peace?” or “gray mouse, but with individuality?” What should you spend more time on: what is inside or what is outside? Love is intertwined with hate. Years of battles, failures, envy, meanness, hatred and great love. What is true love? Is first love eternal? The heroes of this film will show you this.