Why do you speak Greek? Do I look like a Greek?
- You look like an idiot.
Among the winners of the Golden Raspberry there are many different subspecies. There are just bad films ("Lord of the Elements", "Dirty Love"), there are funny and underrated films ("The Adventures of Ford Ferlane", "Sex Guru", "Shogels", "Dear Mommy"), there are pretentious and failed things ("Striptease", "Blonde"). And there is the Madonna, to which the organizers of Malina have particularly reverent feelings. I must say that I became interested in Madonna as an actress after Gone. For this role, she received the main female award, which, by the way, is not quite fair, since this is not the worst of her work in the cinema. At first, you can recall the Shanghai Surprise, the Body as Evidence, and the Best Friend, roles in which Madonna was less successful than here. Britney Spears should have been left alone with Malina.
As you know, Gone is a remake of an old Italian film of the 70s with Giancarlo Giannini. It is said that at the screening of the remake - the director of the original was upset and even said this phrase: "What did they do with my film?". Really, what? Well, first of all, they made Madonna in their movie. And it doesn’t matter who directed it – Guy Ritchie or John Smith – it’s obvious that Gone is a Madonna movie. A kind of extended version of their past with Ritchie's masterpis called "Star", only here the blonde beauty went even further... The original '70s was raped in the tail and in the mane, but raped beautifully. And stylish. With a smelly fish in one hand and a Cuban cigar in the other.
Before us on the screen appears a whole adult woman, whose beauty is gradually fading (Madonna specially added ages with makeup). In one scene, she speaks directly about the need for constant competition with young girls. That she doubts that Giuseppe (with whom they end up on a desert island) would have chosen in her favor under other circumstances. Giuseppe, in turn, appears on the screen not a strong and whole man, but a short-sighted infantil, who at the first opportunity begins to shake and build his yesterday's mistress, as if illustrating the very well-worn phrase that "there is no more terrible master than yesterday's slave."
This character is invited to sympathize only because he is poor. But he behaves no less defiantly than the heroine of Madonna (which, by the way, is guided by quite understandable logic in contrast to), the character is uninteresting and dull. To the rescue comes a pleasant and disposing Italian appearance of the son of Giannini, which as it turns this plot into a role-playing sado-maso game. The scene in which Madonna drags a self-caught octopus into a shack and throws it in Giuseppe shows that for this woman, the love affair was more an attempt to regain youth and break out of the ordinary - the world that her husband artificially designed for her.
The movie is quite thrashy. A number of episodes make you remember the golden fund of the classics - Santa Claus meets the Martians, Fat spy with Jane Mansfield, etc. Something is... elusive. And a 3.6 rating on IMDb adds a special charm. "Gone" - the picture is dynamic and cheerful. A little sad at the end. The director uses music well, and in the middle he even pasted a mini-clip for Madonna. Della Reese's "Come-On-A-My House" doesn't sing. Gone is obviously not a masterpiece, but it's a funny movie with a number of funny episodes.
6 out of 10
Guy Ritchie decided to shoot a full-length commercial for his wife to promote her career. The film industry of this version of the advertising remake of the disliked Madonna did not appreciate and the film was heated. The film itself is built on the conflict of two very different heroes. The conflict unfolded with dignity, watching it is not boring. Some moments may seem too much to someone. But life is not fair at all. Movies should not be made in such a way as not to offend the sensitive. What happens with this approach to cinema, we see the example of Hollywood products of recent years, in which everything is carefully dosed. Apart from the story of two characters who were missing something in life, there is nothing in the film. So he looked at it and forgot it.
Guy Ritchie on a desert island! At first, it seems that a typical melodrama with a plot already familiar to us, but Guy, in his filming handwriting, sort of says: “Guys, I’m a director here.” This is my film.
While the director was married to Madonna, he made such a movie. Wealthy people, resting on a yacht, who look down on everything and piss off one of their remarks. While the captain and the team try to please customers, the cobra opens its mouth - Madonna in the game. And all the poison goes to the poor sailor, who is forced to endure all the torture.
The film is clearly divided into classes. The rich and the minions. But no one bothers with sympathy, the enemies on the court are a rich lady and a pathetic servant. I don’t know, the first part of the picture caused disgust with the ego and whims of the main character, so I was already looking forward to the island.
There should be a good move, but I think Guy overdid it with equality and justice. Stupid reason - but the heroes find themselves together on a desert island. According to some elements, it was inhabited. Yes, well, it already had "Six Days, Seven Nights", and "Rogue", and "Blue Lagoon" - one island, the guests only change. The irony is that now the sailor is king and leader, and the Madonna is a slave. But what's the big transition? Logical explanations for the fact that, despite the different situation in the civilizational world, everyone on the island is equal. Yes, the scene of a change of character and ambition should have been taught, but the sailor was too cruel.
His relationship with the lady does not bring justice and forgiveness. The lady can't take the words back either. It's a bit of a shift in priorities. Lack of feeling and sincerity. But after the tantrums, the lady is crazy about the man. What? When such a plot thread began to emerge, you can not understand where. First a lady acts like a pig, then a sailor acts like a pig, then love. Guy "Five Minutes, Turkish" Richie, What You're Doing I didn’t copy it completely, but I added a lot of unnecessary stuff to the chemistry of the characters.
The third stage is salvation. Drama doesn't hold. Love does not stretch, there was no soil. I was pleased with the final, it came out not as many viewers expected it to get, but completely different. This was a big plus, since the relationship did not stretch, there was no justification. Change in heroes? If Madonna can still be understood, Adriano Giannini’s hero, the carried-away sailor, is not! After all, a great school of life, when status and money do not play any role, when you should abandon your rules and bury the hatchet of war. Instead, the audience is waiting for a sweet revenge. We were shown terrible people on the boat, we were shown terrible people on the island. I don’t know what chemistry is, I don’t know.
5 Golden Raspberries served as proof that Guy needed rehabilitation.
It’s a strange movie – you should see the original source, because everything here somehow strangely fits together.
It seems that they became interested in each other almost from the very beginning - he devours her eyes until she "sees" (although it is clear that she sees it), she behaves and speaks absolutely inadequately - the desire to attract attention to herself in this "painful" way is when a person does not know how to do it in another way.
And then the full surah begins. The transition of roles is so rough and abrupt – in general, all the changes in the relationship are so rude and sharp that you just do not understand their logic – as if once on the island, they began to play the script that they found on the shore.
The man behaves not like a man, but like some hysterical neurasthenic. Excuse me, but revenge is very low, and it is not worthy of a man, and it is precisely revenge, because it is sophisticated and directly oozes pleasure from the consciousness of its physiological superiority over the enemy. According to the logic of the peasant, it turns out that if only a woman is broken on her knee, humiliating her, taking advantage of her weakness and inability to help herself, only then she realizes that it is in obedience that her happiness consists - and to break not by authority, not by her dignity as a man, but rudely physically, showing that he is stronger, showing that he is a man by sex (so we are made, that men are physically stronger), but certainly not by the state of mind. But true female obedience to a man (please not to be confused with what we were shown, because it is some kind of caricature) comes from his love for a woman (not from what we were shown here again). Only when a woman sees herself as loved can she be truly gentle.
And this “owner” just enjoyed the fact that he finally someone’s master and was like a boy who was forbidden sweets and who finally got into the confectionery department – there is no measure, there is no sense of reality and boundaries.
And the heroine of Madonna in the end becomes quite self-sufficient and able to take care of herself - and in her eyes it was clear, I thought that now she would send him far and long, but unfortunately it did not happen. But if she did, it would be a completely different movie in which Madonna would look organic.
In the process of watching all this, I was haunted only by the thought of Stockholm syndrome.
There is a saying that the wife of a director should only say to her husband: “You are a genius, you are a genius, you are a genius.” Madonna obviously overdid it because it is the opposite.
Guy Ritchie's fans never stop pecking Madge for "killing a guy." I would like to express the point of view of those who grew up on the work of the author-performer (in common parlance, songwriter). Before Madonna married Guy Ritchie in 2000 and left for permanent residence in the UK, she had an album and single #1, as well as a good mood for the tour.
Did she want to shoot a year after C-section? No.
Was it beautiful and fresh in 2001, 2 weeks after the end of Drowned World 2001? No.
Is it good to take the son of the lead actor of the 1974 film for a role in a remake? No.
Did Guy Ritchie enjoy filming another man hitting his wife? Yeah, obviously.
To understand what the consequences of this picture were for Madonna, it is enough to see that this is her last picture as an actress. So was this movie worth the sacrifice? Not every film is capable of killing the ambitions of a Golden Globe winner, and this film did so with brilliance. How do you look at what “self” and autosuggestion an actress has to go through to play that for the sake of survival, a woman is ready to humiliate herself so much... in front of a nothingness with left views that has seized intelligent thoughts? A very powerful film.
And why is no one saying that this is a remake of the Italian film “Distributed by an extraordinary fate in the azure sea in August” by Lina Wertmüller in 1974?
Moreover, this remake is so much more than a remake that sometimes it smells of plagiarism: there are episodes well straight - one in one, and even outwardly the characters of these films are similar to each other, like a few drops of water from the very azure sea.
Moreover, as a copy is not better than the original, and Madonna despite the fact that she is Madonna (you can put as many exclamation points as you like), failed in this film to surpass Mariangela Melato (although who now remembers this actress), and Adriano Giannini is not Giancarlo Giannini, although a son, but has not yet reached the fame of his parent.
I agree with the rating of the film and can not put more than 5 out of 10.
5 out of 10
Giuseppe began to irritate his temper even at trifling remarks on the yacht. It's not hard to piss him off! His patience is low. And I wanted to show on the island that he was a real man. Invisible. He's acting like a woman.
What stands out most from the improbability is how Amber easily changed. A woman like that would never behave like that. But if I were her, I'd rather be stunned under the bush than be bullied by this Peppe. And the fact that they then broke love, I would not need love at such a price.
It is still improbable that the heroine of Madonna wanted to stay on the island and therefore hid from passing ships. A woman who could not drink heated coffee instead of freshly brewed, could not so quickly decide to be left without toothpaste, a hot bath, all sorts of beauty salons and her favorite simulators. In general, when people want to live, for example, in the 19th century or on a desert island, I think it's before the first severe toothache.
The company of rich people spends holidays on a yacht at sea. Among them is the character played by Madonna. An arrogant and arrogant lady who does not consider all those with lower social status as people. Therefore, without remorse, she chases a local sailor who serves her on a yacht: run there, bring that, the fish is not tasty, the coffee is cold, etc. Of course, all this offends him very much. By the will of fate, an offended sailor and an arrogant rich woman find themselves on a desert island, where, in some way, they change places. And then the situation is very ambiguous. What did the filmmakers want to say? What's the point? Perhaps it is that money in life is not the main thing and a rich person may find himself in a situation where his millions will not help him.
Something reminiscent of the old, everyone’s favorite “Overboard”. The difference is that there is no obvious humiliation. The mockery of the main character “Overboard” over the rich woman who lost her memory, looked like some pampering, “evil” jokes, all the same, looked good fun. And the funny thing was that the millionaire was cooking, washing, cleaning the house, because she was told that was her everyday life, but with all her gut, she felt that it wasn't. In Away, the millionaire did not lose her memory, she clearly understood that she was in extreme conditions that were not peculiar to her and she was simply bullied.
Sometimes these jokes didn’t look funny. As they say, There is no worse master than a former slave. The sailor, who was chased on business and idle and talked with him in an imperative tone, apparently decided to recoup. He kicked his feet, gave slaps, made him kiss his hands. And then everything unfolded very quickly. Very quickly she broke down and accepted the role of a slave. Very quickly they moved from mutual contempt to love. Yesterday they fought, and today she kisses his feet. Emotional transitions from the first stage to the second, from the second to the third are shown very weakly. I don’t think people will believe this.
The final is also crumpled and vague. Although, it is possible that they gave the audience the opportunity, everyone to think of the finale they would like.
There are some good things in the movie, definitely. A little, but still, there are funny moments. Beautiful scenery. Again, Madonna doesn't often delight audiences with her participation in cinema. Despite her modest acting skills, she is charismatic.
In general, you can not say that “Gone” is a comedy for all time, but at least once, you can watch.
Already on the trailer it is clear that the plot of this film is a symbiosis of the films “Overboard” and “6 days 7 nights”. Since both films I consider excellent, plus the director announced the great Guy Ritchie, it was necessary to get acquainted with “Gone”.
The main character (Italian fisherman) is very similar to the Dagestani lightweight wrestler. He, a poor lad, works in sweat on a yacht, serving a rich family. The main character is a spoiled rich woman, she finds fault with him and tries to constantly load him with unnecessary work. A hot mountaineer cannot tolerate such rudeness! The hot mountaineer wants to kill her with a knife! From my point of view, this is very strange: a rich family pays a lot of money for a vacation on a yacht, so they have the right to demand quality service. If an Italian fisherman serves her iced coffee, she is perfectly entitled to make a remark and ask him to change the drink. The reaction of the main character to customers is so strange that you just want to isolate him from society.
The rich woman along with this fisherman traditionally crash and find themselves on a desert island. Do you think he'll behave like a gentleman? Wahhahaha! Of course not! He avenges her audacity, and takes revenge vilely and rudely: hits her, kicks her, orders to show her tits, tries to rape, insults, makes him kiss his feet. If she refuses to obey, he does not give her a portion of barbecue, condemning her to starvation. The question is, why didn't this cowardly fisherman behave like this on a ship in front of men? Because in five minutes he would have been stuffed full of stingrays and thrown into the sea.
The fisherman arranges patriarchy with despotic habits, the woman is humiliated, disgraced, beaten. The situation is similar to how Russian girls are taken to Turkey, promising golden mountains, and they sit there as if in prison and treat them like dogs.
The actors are good, they are both disgusting. The picture is pleasing. The music is good. It is worth a look at
I liked the movie because I haven’t seen anything like it. When I first read the title, I immediately thought, so ... the man was carried away to a desert island, he lived there for 20 years, and then he was taken away, yeah.
But no, the film tells us about a wealthy family who rented a yacht with staff to relax in the middle of the ocean. The main character is called Pe-Pe, who immediately did not like the wife of a rich man who rested there. Not at all! On the contrary, maybe through Pe-Pe's humiliation, she was expressing her love for him? Although Pe-Pe in dreams wanted to literally throw her into the ocean to eat the local animals.
The story of getting to the island begins with the fact that the whole family went on a tour," forgetting about the bitchy wife of a rich Formacist. When she found no one there, #34; the bitch ordered Pe-Pe to start a boat and follow them. But in the end, everything according to the old scheme, the boat stalled, a strong wind began. Three days later they were taken to the island. This is where all the fun begins.
Being far from civilization, the bitchy wife could not find food, unlike the fisherman Pe-Pe, and he set cruel rules if she wants to live on the island full. In the end, they fall in love ... and I do not want to spoil.
The film is very good, it is good to sit at the screen in the evening. I don’t understand why this book received such low ratings among critics.
As already mentioned, the plot is not new, but, nevertheless, the creators managed to add something to it that in my eyes set it apart from other similar paintings. In this case, I’m talking about fights between the main characters, which sometimes looked funny. And the very fact that the fisherman, feeling his power, began to break off on a rich girl, although, I will not hide, sometimes I had the idea that he was too carried away. But, perhaps, this made the character of this hero as he turned out on the screen.
It was great to watch this film in the original, listening to the Italian accent of the fisherman and how he sometimes inserted phrases in Italian. And in general, his Italian expressiveness was shown well, which was also amusing. I just didn't like the ending. It’s a romantic movie, not for once.