God loves the patient. I just want to pray. You know? I look. It was the first time anyone heard me.
© "First Me"
Kantemir Balagov received his debut experience in creating a film three years before the release of “Tesnota”, which made his name famous both in Russia and abroad. At that time, the guy was still a student of Alexander Sokurov, the only director who dared to open his courses in the North Caucasus, at the main university of Kabardino-Balkaria. Balagov’s theme for the plot was nothing less than the accession to the religion of Islam – a very relevant reference to the events that took place in Nalchik, the capital of the republic, after the terrorist attack in 2005, when many representatives of young people became Muslims of their own or someone else’s will, thereby often wounding members of their own family who fear for the fate of their sons and daughters, since Islam in the Caucasus is partly subject to radical influences. Kantemir himself admitted in an interview that as a child he also wanted to exchange ordinary life for a life of faith and prayer, because he did not find understanding among others. Something similar is happening here.
The short begins with a funny episode: before leading us into fiction, the director in reality asks the main actor what his character’s name is and whether he understands what to do. Already the reverse trick of returning from fiction to reality occurs after the finale: we kind of smoothly move away from the plot back to the shooting, everything falls into place, takes on the usual features. The smoke of fiction dissolves. It seems to be a strange creative decision, but it has an interesting concept: firstly, the viewer has no doubts about some very personal involvement of the author in his work; secondly, associatively there is a belief that this story could happen to any teenager anywhere in Nalchik.
The main entanglement immerses the viewer in the habitat of the main character, who - wow! - is also called Kantemir. Deep winter. A few young people gather in a secluded place to try something forbidden. Among them is the untalking, not childishly serious Kantik, who accepts other people's amusements with a corresponding semi-hostile awkwardness. Already in the first five or ten minutes, you unwittingly take his side, as usually happens if you notice obvious outsiders among the hanging youth. It seems that they are not like everyone else, and for some reason the eye catches on to them for a long time. And very soon we will learn why the boy has such non-companian behavior among his peers: it's all about the risky venture, the decision to start praying - the obligatory Muslim prayer, performed five times a day.
The conflict is a purely negative attitude of the mother and sister: after the terrorist attack in the city, the entry into Islam of a teenager may mean his nascent adherence to Wahhabism. To give credit to the director: despite the amateur incompetence of the rest of the scenes, the scene in which Kantik, interrupted by an angry and disappointed mother, tries to make his first prayer, really strong, tearful, the main one. After it, a phrase slips, without which the short film would lose many times more, which I cited in the review as an epigraph. This is the second strong point, touching with its controversy and at the same time sincerity.
There’s another thing that’s interesting, too, the hero’s speech. While his family tries to talk to him in Kabardian, Kantik expresses his thoughts exclusively in Russian, which forces his mother and sister to switch to Russian at some point. This clearly shows how alien a guy feels among people who love him - or maybe strangle him with their love. They may not hear it because of their love.
Perhaps, in my personal rating, the “First Me” may have a higher rating. But objectivity has not been canceled, so I can not recommend this work to everyone, because not everyone has faced the situation unfolding in the film, and not everyone will thoroughly understand and feel the drama that runs through all the cracks. However, if such a specific desire arises, then, of course, do not hesitate: incomplete eighteen minutes - the time is compact enough not to regret its omission when viewing, whatever the aftertaste.
6 out of 10