My movies from the corn dump! I thought the coronavirus was over.
(About the 11th minute of the film)
Maize sharks
Whether the coronavirus ends or does not end, charlatans will always bully sharks. No, seriously. We've done a billion thrash movies with these beautiful creatures. What did the great white shark do to you? What did Steven Spielberg do to you? Why can’t you make a movie called “Corn Dolphins” or “Lake Placid: Corn Lake” – no, we have sharks again.
God help me, I haven’t come to my senses yet. Please, Corn Sharks! The film is 2021 (while all sane horror mans are waiting for Snyder’s Army of the Dead, yes, Zombion Black with sharks corn cracks). In the director's chair is a certain Tim Ritter. Looked at the man in filmography, crazy, he began to shoot in the 80s. Progress on the face, sorry, degradation on the face.
On the poster for the film you can see the eerie inscription – Stephen Kang presents!
Who's Stephen Kang? You don't know Stephen Kang, I beg you, he's Stephen King's evil twin brother. Kang didn’t care about The Shining, Kang didn’t care about The Green Mile, Kang didn’t care about It – Kang was jealous of King for one reason only, the Corn Children franchise. Corn house by the road!
All right, all right, I'm gonna stop being mean. Without laughing, as you may recall, I am madly annoyed by King’s corn franchise (well, apart from the more or less bearable original and the short “The Apostles of the Raven”). It's even commendable that someone decided to fuck her. Unfortunately, the sectarian children were absent, here is a slightly different story.
So, plot. No story, ah heh heh, sorry. But there is a large corn plantation where sharks swim. What? Do sharks swim in seas and oceans? Forget it, my naive ones. The director specially emphasizes, allegedly there are many. In fact, one rubber shark (bought in a toy store) and ketchup.
In addition to sharks, you will not believe, in the film a huge number of murky characters. Some couple (drinking vodka from the throat), some Italian mafia (among the bandits there was even a small child – someone from the film crew called, probably), some lunatic maniac (considered himself a shark, barked his teeth at the camera – Oscar send him), etc.
I didn't understand anything about this hellish thing. Crazy game. I only liked the scene with the helicopter - well, because she is already beyond the brink of delirium, began to laugh at the top of her throat, I will do half a point. And the apotheosis of insanity - timekeeping in 100 minutes! 60 minutes is a lot. 100 is unbearable.
Tim Ritter, it's your fault, it's your fault.
1.5 out of 10