Big Guns #52: Alexander Nevsky While the entire world community is waiting with bated breath for the international premiere of the sequel to the acclaimed western “Attack on Rio Bravo”, Alexander Nevsky decides to please the audience of Kinopoisk and absolutely without any warning releases his new film on this platform. Let me remind you that the previous part was the result of the first collaboration of Nevsky and the director of low-budget westerns Joe Cornet. The film was advertised as a real Hollywood event - not only here, but also abroad. The promotion of the sequel was, frankly, weaker - but this in no case should stop real lovers of strong westerns (this is what Nevsky calls previous productions of Kornet).
So here we have Joe Cornet's Western, Lost in Rio Bravo. The first thing that catches the eye is that the team of creators has hardly changed. Almost all the actors of the film appear as executive producers - this reminded me of the scheme by which Randall Emmett makes films (those action films with Bruce Willis over the past 10 years). Also, Nevsky has repeatedly focused on replenishing the cast - this time such stars of inexpensive fighters as Cynthia Rothrock and Don "Dragon" Wilson visited. We’ve seen them in Manila, but who cares? Well, according to tradition, one of the roles went to the new passion of Nevsky.
The beginning of the film reminded me of most of the action movies with Steven Seagal of the sample of the XXI century - for the seed shows a scene that is not related to the plot, but demonstrates the unreal coolness of the main character. Of course, no episode will surpass the epic appearance of Alexander in the film “Black Rose”, but in general the traditions are observed – the hero of Nevsky alone throws away the mobsters, and, after extremely long credits (which also became a tradition), the action is transferred to that town with one street from the first part.
On a dark night, Cynthia Rothrock visits her cousins and is suddenly attacked by a gang of thugs. After lying in blood all night, she waits for Ivan (I remind you that this is the name of the hero Nevsky) to tell him who committed the attack and dies peacefully. It turns out that the cousins are kidnapped by a gang of human traffickers, and Alexander (of course, along with Sheriff Cornet) goes in search of them.
Well, if "Attack on Rio Bravo" showed us at least some step forward (compared to Nevsky's previous work), the sequel is a real return to its origins. Judge for yourself - Ivan goes to rescue the girls, not knowing where they are. Along the way, they meet Wilson the Dragon, who suddenly knows all the information Nevsky and the sheriff need. At the 37th minute, a new character appears - Nevsky recognizes in him his current passion Tatiana Neva and without any questions lets him to the fire. What happened to Tatiana next? Hell knows, after a minute and a half, her storyline goes nowhere in the best traditions of Tommy Wiseau and his film Room.
The list of outright absurdities can go on forever - after all, Craig Hamann, the author of all the latest works of Nevsky, was again responsible for the script. The deaths of the heroes look incredibly comical, because their characters were corny not written. Rothrock and Wilson have 3 and 5 minutes of screen time, respectively. And I’m not kidding – how can you worry about a character who was introduced to the plot a couple of minutes ago, and about him absolutely nothing is known?
Not without absolutely left scenes - still remember the famous episode in the first part, where Matthias Hughes just decided to puff up, sitting in a coop? Here we are shown an episode where Robert Madrid (by the way, an old acquaintance for those who are familiar with the filmography of Nevsky) wanders aimlessly around the sheriff's office. Speaking of Hughes, he will appear closer to the 60th minute and his appearance is more like a piano hidden in the bushes, rather than a normal introduction of the character to the plot.
Towards the end of the film, we are fed flashbacks from the first part - why? No one in their right mind will watch Lost in Rio Bravo separately from Attack. However, flashbacks here perform the same role as the giant opening and closing credits. The fact is that the content was shot again for exactly 60 minutes, and the film had to reach at least 80. The icing on the cake for me was the fact that in the final we are again told the whole biography of Ivan Turchaninov - exactly the same words as in the first part. I already wrote in a review of Nevsky’s production project “The Curse of Lillian” that such a stretching of timekeeping for “Hollywood” cinema is a complete shame.
And a little more about the finale - usually in such films there is some final battle, the confrontation of the main character and the main villain, so to speak. Even in the “Manila showdown” and “Attack on Rio Bravo” there were at least some skirmishes. But forget it, there is no final battle in Lost. Yes, and it is corny not needed here - Nevsky just scattered all the enemies, without receiving a single bruise, and returned home.
Well, I'll try to sum up. Lost in Rio Bravo is a real kindergarten, a movie with an extremely superficial plot, incredibly banal dialogues and zero artistic value. However, unlike the first part, this one can already be viewed as a good comedy, the main thing is to catch the right mood. Nevsky again just walks and shoots left-right (necessarily killing enemies with each shot) - it looks even more comical than in "Attack". The script shines with stunning lines - for example, towards the end of the film we will be told a story about a dude who walks and shows everyone a dick. For what purpose was this even said in this film? I don’t know, I have to ask Craig Hamann and Alexander Nevsky, because they are responsible for this nonsense. Kornet again plays the role of the director-craftsman, although he plays without such enthusiasm. Apparently, he realized that he was stuck in the company of Ivan Turchaninov for a long time. In short, the movie is like some kind of fan fiction from a man who watched 5-6 classic westerns and decided to compose something of his own with a couple of thousand dollars in his pocket. The first part was a weak passerby, but the second is practically the same Cinema of Nevsky - ridiculous, comic and completely unnecessary.
Thank you for your attention
3 out of 10