Since childhood, I have fanatically loved Jules Verne, and with age, love has not faded, all my life with great pleasure I re-read his various works from time to time in different languages, and at the sight of manuscripts in Amiens I was almost struck with delight. And I genuinely wonder why the French sidestep the chance to film Captain Grant's Children, which with modern possibilities could be turned into a candy. But it’s better than the American version. And then I remembered that there is one, old or old, I once watched it, I remember that I remembered all the indecent vocabulary while watching, but I forgot what was wrong there. And I decided to reconsider.
If I were a descendant of Monsieur Verne, I would certainly sue for the most heinous mockery of the classics that has ever happened in history. I suppose everyone remembers the plot and the characters, so suffice it to say that among the characters of this Disney film (I refuse to call them heroes of Captain Grant's Children) there is not one positive character. How is it? This is despite the fact that the characters of Verne’s books were distinguished by valor, honor, moral principles. Remember the noble Lord Glenarvan, who on his yacht for his money goes in search of three people who are probably no longer alive, Remember his sweet, gentle and no less noble wife Helen, who led her husband to the idea of helping poor children? Well, Lady Helen doesn't exist, and Comrade Glenervan (which is hardly a scumbag to be called Lord) is such a ... um, kind of softer, an asshole, burning through life at parties where the tables are bursting with food and drink, and the poor children of Captain Grant are forced to fight in hysterics to reach him. He's a coward, he's always trying to end his adventures, like, oh, we're gonna go there. To which Monsieur Paganel has to resort to all sorts of tricks like, well, of course, it is better to let the lord stay, it is for someone younger. However, what kind of Paganel monsieur: instead of breaking through the pontifical crowd of lovers of life to Glenarvan and talking about the search for the captain, he steals food from the tables, stuffing it in different pockets, in parallel pouring all this champagne, and the bottle is also stolen. Do you think Captain John is the dream of any dreamy lady? Oh! John is a complete jerk with a sneering smile on his face, who, when he meets Mary Grant and her brother, mocks them and finds a note Paganel (did you not know that Paganel found it?) The savages, like, oh, we've got a hell of a cloud of notes like that, get out of here. A dream, not a man! However, to be fair, Miss Mary also seemed to have grown up in the back door. She's yelling at Comrade Glenarvan, you know what, Lord! He throws fists at John and kisses at Talkawa. In general, a sweet and quiet young lady, of course, any John will fall in love with such. And the love story is wonderful, which is only worth talking about, they say, I thought all the girls are stupid, and you are not. You see, our miss didn't stand up.
By the way, you know, I hope that Paganel did not learn Portuguese instead of Spanish, he talks to an Indian with a set of sounds, looking like a clinical moron, however, it is still difficult to worsen the impression. Why learn Portuguese, Spanish if the Talkav Indian speaks English? Of course, he says clumsy like "I go for help," well, where are these stupid Indians?
I'm sitting there watching this bullying and I think... it's scary to imagine Captain Grant himself. Probably some Jamshut in stretched sweatshirts.
And each frame pleases more than the previous one. Hardly did you put your eyebrows in place, watching as somewhere in Patagonia, asshole Glenarvan squeamishly wrinkles his nose from the cooking of Paganel, like fi, we just recently ate three throats, and you baked some kind of crumb for me, how already forced to watch our group of tourists figure out relations with a leopard. Don't you remember the leopard? Nobody remembers. But the Americans decided to add a little thriller. That's when our heroes on the tree were fleeing the flood, they did it in the company of the leopard. Then the leopard has our heroes' raft. Are you surprised they had a raft? Of course he was. And as soon as the leopard sailed on it, an army of hungry crocodiles immediately formed around the tree. I'm waiting for anaconda and Godzilla.
But no. There was no Anaconda. And Godzila. I think I just got dumped. Ahn no! The enchanting dialogue between Paganel and Glenarvan plays out:
- What a fool I am.
- I know
Nice, huh? Aristocracy is just a crack. Visibly to complement the wonderful image of the fool, Paganel sings Tyrolean songs. Well, come on, French, German, Italian or Austrian, everything is out there in Europe.
In response to Paganel’s thought that Captain Grant was not in South America, the Lord replied, “Why didn’t you say that before?” I wouldn't have spent that much money."" Oh, how. Noble comrade, but money loves the account, you know. Lords, they're so hard. Our friend is so nervous that he begins to talk only by shouting. Loord, yeah.
In general, the characters are all nasty, even the worst is difficult to choose. Not an ounce of nobility, upbringing, and it's not clear why they're all looking for the unfortunate captain. You know what comes to mind? The old KVN joke: “I’d get lost too.” The plot was twisted. Characters got screwed. Watching is all there is to say. However, Americans and shame it is so familiar that even somehow awkward to say.
In short, now I know exactly what will be treated in the near future. A wonderful Soviet-Bulgarian film “In Search of Captain Grant” by Stanislav Govorukhin. Yes, it is not all one in one with the book, but it did not hurt at all, because the film was made with great love for the original source. Here Lord Glenervan is noble and generous, Lady Helen is kind and generous, Miss Mary is sweet and gentle, Captain John will melt any woman's heart, and Monsieur Paganel is a charming eccentric with the same sympathetic heart as all other heroes. Yes, the film lacks the colors of nature, after all, was shot not in South America and Australia, but these are such trifles compared to the delightful atmosphere. Americans don't understand.