Battleship!!! Usually, when a review / series of reviews for a series of works is made, it usually goes from best to worst: they say first the Death Star was blown up and the characters were adequately revealed, and then the clumsy love line and Jar Ja Binks. This is justified by the fact that, according to custom, some noticeable work first comes out, and then a continuation, a remake or outright plagiarism (as in the case of our today’s guest). Rarely is there a situation where a mediocre or downright lousy work produced a more successful continuation or reinterpretation. By the way. Is there any connection between rethinking and battleship?
In the case of Rodan and his American sister, the Giant Claw, I will do exactly the opposite – simply because I want to quickly deal with this dung slut, which has long been regularly listed as the worst around the world. At the same time, Rodan himself was very successful in America, thus giving rise to the impetus for the creation of this, um, picture. Well, this is a battleship, to be honest.
Battleship, battleship... And here's what I mean: the story seems unpretentious. In the first half. In the second begin to place terrible shadows on the wicker. Now I’ll talk about it, just one point: why is this bird constantly compared to a battleship?!! WHY?! Why not with a locomotive, with a building, with something else? And why is it repeated so often, as if that damn six-letter word contained the meaning of Being? Who wants a battleship? I want a battleship! Take it, he's gone there.
So, the carrot shit, which is called the plot here: in the first half there were funny dives and hamstrings of characters. In the second, everything changes with some alien, overly constructive savvy about everything. Glavger completely accidentally reveals the trajectory of the bird’s flight in a spiral, although any other person would rightly assume that the bird simply flew from west to east, judging by the places of its attacks. The local scientist is immediately and ironically convinced that the bird is an alien (do not pay attention, just forget, you will be better) and projects antimatter, thus repelling projectiles. Why the first and obvious guess was not the magnetic field, I do not know. Right in the forehead - antimatter, or die. Although, you can ride a battleship if you like. . .
By the way, the hamstrings and humorous spats of the characters I mentioned are almost completely crossed out by the disgusting play of the actors. That Jeff Morrow with an unchanging face, that the military, reporting with such pathos that all battleships off the coast will explode from this pathos, that the friend of the main characters - a Frenchman, unnaturally terrified after meeting a bird - all this is low and rotten by the standards of any acting school of any country and any time. As for the culprit, the giant bird, To be honest, fuck it. You mean seriously? Who, even one person on this sinful planet, who in their right mind could seriously approve such a layout, such an appearance? It doesn’t look like ‘Rodan’ plagiarism – it’s a gang rape with a little bit of coprophilia. I do not know why and who seriously created such an external design of this feathered creature.
And why do battleships not fly like birds? . .
Well, it's funny to talk about special effects - they're primitive and ridiculous. The Japanese showed a real sense in creating miniature scenery, here it was completely ignored. There's a couple of fleetingly good shots like 'Giant Claw Takes the Train' or 'Giant Claw Takes the Car' - but then the camera goes over to the face of this flying squirrel - and you realize that it's not going to be easy to sit through the film until the end. At a meager length per hour with pennies. Yes, where "Rodan" for exactly the same timekeeping had time to cause a little horror (in a good way) and seriously captivate, Sears' creation encourages you to go to the library and find a reference book on types of suicide, if any. What an inept, cheap, nasty, perverting film...
By the way, my cat just came into my room. It's a beautiful swim. Like a battleship.
3 out of 10