So, another movie for TV, another group of treasure-seekers in the painfully familiar format of yet another archeologist and another dusty mummy that does not sit in its tomb. It would seem to be-watched-spit-marked-not to look anymore, but...
But then a newfangled format of pseudo-documentary films through the eyes of the main character enters the arena of our audience sympathies! Well, albeit not new-fangled, but at least the indigenous character of any project, where the synopsis indicates “Egypt”, in such a montage has not yet stuck – so it would seem to look at the whole film in the gray frame of glasses-lenses and rejoice, but...
But one such format is fed up with a sophisticated lover of monster horror films will not be (even if the picture itself is quite pleasant: well, there is sand, people’s backs, more sand, people’s backs – a first-person film, you remember), and that monster in the frame is exactly the same as in the trailer. Robbery! In addition, a quality poster of the film and asks for the wall, promising something more interesting than we usually see on TV. But in the end: Deception! The usual plot, which has not changed since the time of the pharaohs in the direction of interest / something new and a terribly predictable ending with the traditional lack of horror itself on the screen (even if the meager couple of minutes that eventually took the villain, showed it from the unexpectedly high-quality side of the makeup-suiter).
Of the familiar actors, Danny Glover’s physiognomy, always shining in the lower left corner, is immediately noted (more will pass for the untiring discovery of the production artist than for the participation of the actor himself). And the name of Eric Young in the opening credits represents an ordinary actor – a full-faced wrestler, but not World Class Maniac himself (well, maybe a TNA fan will pay attention and wait). To get into the fact that the grayness of the characters has not gained depth of colors since the first freezing of the Nile is not even desirable.
Result: all the same rotten mummified plot, only in a new cover of a pseudo-documentary action. Banal, but kind of not without a twist, although in fact: the next looked-spit-marked not to look anymore.
Since the revolution in cinema, and the production of the film does not take much time and money, everyone who is not lazy, trying to start a career as a director. So the unknown Johnny Tabor imagined himself a creator, recruited a team of amateurs like himself, it is unclear how he got a couple of experienced actors and shot another thrash on the subject of Egypt. I even feel sorry for this unfortunate country and its culture, which has not received a decent mention in cinema lately.
So, we're going to talk about Professor Jack Wells, who is brought to us just like Indiana Jones, even the famous hat is, well, it's a different color. But this "Indiana" is apparently close to retirement, not moderate in food and not clear in sexual relations, and even a fraudster, in short, lives out the last days to the fullest to have something to remember. And then suddenly, during the next sexual pleasures, the wise Gontian magician Ogion (Carl performed by Danny Glover) appears to him through magic (laptop) and gives him magic glasses. With this artifact, "Indiana" must penetrate some distant distance to pick up another artifact that will help the wise magician stay afloat and repay the loan. “Indiana” is of course in a hurry to fulfill the task, because the magician is not just called wise, he has compromising material that can complicate the already difficult life of a grief archaeologist. And of course, there are magical adventures, etc. I like my description a lot more than what I actually saw, but unfortunately I wasn’t invited to write. As a result, we have already had a nagging story about a jade archaeologist who got into the wrong place and robbed his fifth point of not even magical adventures.
Of course, without the retinue, no archaeologist can do. There are a couple of extras, another doctor who clearly has no friendly feelings for Jack, so we can enjoy their skirmishes about and without, and also a mandatory combat girl who also has fire magic, because I have no other explanation for the fact that she can walk all day in the desert without a headdress. Plus, the wise magician from time to time appears as a small icon in the lower left corner, provides the main character with information when necessary and when useless. None of the characters could get beyond the standard image allotted to each, and therefore they are completely uninteresting. In addition, behind each is an endless list of stupid phrases and actions.
The story itself about the vengeful mummy did not present problems for the screenwriters, everything in the best traditions is an unjust life, death in agony, being between worlds, powerlessness before an artifact and hatred towards happy pulse owners. The mummy does not claim to be the best, but it is still more prestigious than what I expected to see in a film like this.
The film is mostly made in the style of mockumentary, and we see what is happening through those magic glasses. Glasses are really magical - the signal is caught everywhere, almost does not flop. And they shake little, as if on a block of stone. However, judging by the angles and approximation, it seems that Jack walks, poking everyone in the face or other parts of the body, and in order to look at his feet, he kneels.
The film also features mandatory ethnic music copied from a disc bought somewhere on the way to the studio. Only Egyptian music was not found, and the composer bought what was available.
And we can also see amazing special effects. The director is a clear hipster, he does not care about fashion trends, he decided to return to the roots in the technology issue. Not because it is cheap, but because it is retro. Let's pretend to believe him.
The genre of horror films from its inception was based on such pillars as vampires, werewolves and Frankenstein’s monster. And not the last in their company is a mummy. Since 1932, when the film of the same name by Karl Freund was released, a dead man, covered with coils of bandages, returns to us almost every year to frighten the audience thirsty for Egyptian color. Unfortunately, the mummy did not receive as many quality projects with its participation as vampires and werewolves. It so happened that 90% of Egyptian horrors were filmed by unknown directors for pennies and these opuses are interesting only to orthodox fans of cinema of category B and below. The situation tried to change Stephen Sommers, who shot at the turn of the century a remake of the classic “Mummy” in the format of an expensive blockbuster and did not lose. His dilogy about Imhotep became a box office hit and the object of a real cult. However, in the future, the genre for some reason did not get its development and mummies again went to their favorite environment - the world of home video and television. All subsequent horror films about Egypt again lowered the bar of quality. and even the theatrical horror “Pyramid” released in 2014 did not justify the high hopes of either viewers or critics. But, no matter how, this film has achieved the right to a wide release and it is worth considering. Well, shortly before its premiere, another film on a similar topic called "Mummy Day" was published. The budget of this little-known tape ranged from a Coke sandwich for each participant to a purely symbolic amount of $ 100. I don’t think the producers could give more for such a sad spectacle. Director Johnny Tabor, about whom you have certainly not heard, did what even the worst-tasting maestro, the unforgettable Uwe Ball with his “Prisoners of the Sun” (another Egyptian horror of recent years), failed. Tabor shot the most simple, primitive, uncomplicated and simply unnecessary thrash horror about the curse of the ancient pharaohs in the last twenty years! And that's not an exaggeration. Viewing this craft became a real test for me and I even caught myself in some abnormal self-torture, because what prevented you from turning off the picture somewhere in the middle and forget about it forever? But no, I wanted to see it to the end and I will probably never forget it.
So, the plot of the film introduces us to the archaeologist-adventurer Jack Wells (William McNamara), who at the behest of a rich collector Carl (Danny Glover) unites with a group of researchers and goes to Egypt, where an ancient tomb of the pharaoh was discovered, in which according to legends there is a huge diamond. Going on a journey, the hero wears glasses with a video camera (so that we do not see him in the frame as long as possible) and acts simultaneously as a researcher and an operator. In the best traditions of Indiana Jones (how blasphemous to mention his name in the context of the film in question...) Jack Wells seduces a beauty, shoots visiting bandits, solves any ancient inscriptions in two counts and eventually encounters a mystical force in the guise of the very mummy made in the title of the film.
The first footage of Mummy Day, which uses primitive computer graphics imitating the views of ancient Egypt, suggests that the entire subsequent spectacle will be at least disgusting. And indeed, the further narrative is not just surprising, but simply depressing! The scariest part of the story begins in the fifth minute of viewing, when we meet Jack Wells, having fun with two beauties in an Egyptian hotel. And everything would be nothing in this scene, if instead of William McNamara was some other actor and preferably a dozen years younger. Once McNamara was a real fit handsome man, and now he is almost a 50-year-old bloated man with a stupid expression on his face. And the director thinks that this should be the sex symbol of archaeology of our day? Don't make me laugh! McNamara could be forgiven for his appearance in exchange for his dramatic talent, but the latter doesn't even smell. Watch the entire filmography of the actor and you will understand that you should not expect any revelations from him at all. But for whom really hurt, it is for Danny Glover, who finally rolled his career into scrap and now cooperates with directors of the caliber of Johnny Tibor. It is worth noting that in "Mummy Day" Glover plays a full role, not a cameo. However, his hero does not take a direct part in the research, and sometimes pops up in the left corner of Wells’ newfangled glasses to say some pathetic and stupid phrase in the style of “Wells, do not forget that you are here for the stone.” It is a pity that Glover agreed to this, but much more sorry for those viewers who agreed to watch. The only bright ray in this dark realm is the charming Andrea Monier. No, she certainly has nothing to play, but her outward beauty is at least capable of attracting the attention of a male audience. Thank you for that.
I deliberately paid so much attention to the leading three characters, as there is nothing more to consider in this film. if you were hoping for a relatively colorful picture, then I hasten to disappoint you - the creators could not even erect the scenery of the burial room of the pharaoh, but simply took him in a hurry downed sarcophagus and placed him in some cave, explaining this by the intrigues of ancient rulers. As for nightmares, except for the director’s work and William McNamara in the film nothing scares. Action scenes are few and staged as if in an amateur theater, the unknown actor in the guise of a mummy plays on autopilot, and, like the crown of everything, the spectacular finale is absent here as a class.
In the end, I want to say that "Mummy Day" is the film that you would not recommend to watch even your enemy. I didn’t find anything worthy of the audience’s attention. Johnny Tabor should have rolled his production into frank thrash and then his film would have been at least cheerful and cheerful. And so we have 80 minutes of stupidity and despondency, which will remain in memory like wasted time. So feel free to let this opus pass by.
1 in 10
P.S. Somewhere in between the final credits, there's a pretty long scene featuring Danny Glover. However, she cannot boast of anything significant. Like the movie itself.
"Mummy Day" causes contradictory feelings - on the one hand, it seems like I want to praise the authors of the next thrash adventure on the Egyptian theme, for the fact that they approached the material somewhat from the other side and showed what is happening on behalf of the main character, on the other hand - to what kind of hulking they approached this concept. For starters, stupid video glasses have been introduced into the plot, which are able to work for weeks, take the network signal even when William McNamara, who wore them, turns out to be in the depths of the Egyptian catacombs, and also have a built-in Danny Glover, who is ready to tire about the purpose of the trip around the clock, not letting literally step without another reminder of the need to look for a hefty diamond. Danny Glover is not enough that he received the laziest role in the film (sit in front of the camera, but say stupid lines) and also works as the main generator of idiocy in the script. Here are the characters in beautiful landscapes, slowly talking about everything, like everything is fine and you begin to imbue with the film, as - op! - Danny Glover popped out in the corner of the screen and tried another obvious stupidity. In general, this whole idea with a face in the corner of the screen resembles rather one of those yearsplay, hundreds of fall out on YouTube, which is wildly annoying and generally distracts from viewing. Why it was necessary to do – I don’t know, maybe the authors just didn’t come up with how to introduce an actor with a famous name into the plot – he didn’t want to go to the desert, and the fee has already been paid, so they came up with this ingenious feature. In any case, this is stupid and finally destroys the already shaky-looking illusion of shooting from the first person, and there are plenty of blunders associated with it in the film - then the shadow of the operator with an obvious camera in his hands flashes, then the hero for some reason brings binoculars not to the eyes, but to the lens on the bundle of glasses, then another absurdity will happen ...
And here’s the thing: if there were no video glasses in the plot and all the idiocy associated with them, the film would only win. At least, the first half in the intervals between performances Glover in the window looks good, and even interesting. Yes, the plot is strained, but it is not "Indiana Jones" any place, but the shooting is beautiful, the characters are understandable and normally revealed, and all the time while the group of researchers gets to the damn catacombs, in which the diamond and mummy look, within the framework of its genre, of course, very attractive. But then the authors drive the narrative into dark, monotonous caves, and the movie at once loses all its charm. And the walk begins. A lot of walking through the dusty passages of the tomb, in which there is nothing but stones, larger stones, and stones on which something is written, but who cares at all. There is also a mummy (one thing) and a maid of the mummy (one thing), which periodically flash somewhere in front, but up to the last fifteen minutes are not particularly illuminated, so it remains to look at walking and Danny Glover in the window. And the viewer by that time already everything, can not and does not want anything, as long as the heroes reached somewhere and this endless stone intestine ended.
For the film called "Mummy Day" in the script is not enough daytime and categorically few wrapped in bandages citizen, but full of dull wanderings in the dark and dust, and, of course, permanent commentator in the lower left corner of the screen. It could have turned out much better, but it wasn’t a smog, there are not enough adventures, the plot goes in circles, special effects (when you can see them) look disgusting, and everything is somehow without a light. More than ever, I wanted to have giant insects or walking skeletons or some of the usual trappings of Egyptian mythology thrashing in this movie, but all we have is a lonely, wretched mummy that’s almost not in the movie at all. Johnny Tabor began for health, but he ended up completely absurd, so the kinzo goes on a well-deserved trip to the land of oblivion.