I want to say right away that I am not some principled hater of comic books, on the contrary, all the zeros and tenths waited for each new film as a holiday, and sometimes this holiday even received. But much more often, everything ended in disappointment and understanding that filmmakers again did the wrong thing and the film was shot not by creators, but by a monkey of marketers, crazy bosses who were brutalized from money and at best just professional idiots. I was the one who gave Spider Holland a chance, although my favorite version was the Webb and Garfield version. In “Citizen” and “Endgame” the new Spider showed himself well, there were no questions to him, but his solo books are catastrophes. I seriously consider them to be hidden failures, in the sense that they fought back for money and even received good criticism, but this was only achieved due to the fact that the studio very skillfully shook rattles in front of the viewer all the way so that he did not have time to see the film itself and in any case did not turn on the brain. We didn't get a good movie, we got the most blatant marketing in Hollywood history, got into our pockets and took out a billion. Three times.
- In the first film, Spider is Tony Stark and Happy Hogan’s miserable sucker, a stoically humiliated schoolboy whose story is made by anyone but him. And in this part he sucks Fury (which is not even real), sucks Mysterio and even his own suit.
- There was a movie called "EuroTour," a middle-of-the-road comedy about American youth going out in Europe. Not to say that for the state of emergency directly stole their plot, but the content is very resonant. In fact, the viewer was sold this feeling of a virtual trip to Europe, not the history of the emergency.
- From Spider, directors in different versions have repeatedly made a clown, but here for the first time he literally put on a jester mask and saved the towers in it.
- Attitude from the pulls of the special services: "Let's fucking undress quickly and measure the suit." I'm wondering, if a girl was the hero and a man brought the suit, would you? Oh, no, of course not. There is a tolerant society of double standards.
The bearded bus driver is a Chameleon! Although he does not do anything in the film, you can only find out about his identity on the Internet.
- Why did Stark bequeath his terrible technology to a kid? He has a wife who is more or less versed in his affairs, their daughter is growing up! He's got Happy, he's got Rhodes, he's got co-workers. He could turn it over to S.H.I.E.L.D., New Asgard, some public domain, and the best heir would be Banner, who is also a scientist. No, I'll give it to the schoolboy, and he and I stole the ship together.
- And Parker, like the last douche, gives away all this property. After one drink at the bar! Well, Mysterio might have seemed like a hero at the time, but Parker was already breaking Thanos with a bunch of heroes, for him it is not something special. I wish I could go and consult Fury.
- Mysterio walks with his real face! Ask an AI in a suit: "Go check the dossier on the person" - and that's it, the movie would not be. Moreover, he should have been checked by agents long before.
- The main twist of the film in all seriousness was that Mysterio, always the canon villain, still turned out to be a villain. That was so surprising.
- And his original is the same as that of Whiplash, false Mandarin and Vulture - well, Stark once offended. Man, is there any villain in this movie universe that Stark thoughtlessly didn't take away?
Spider flair didn't work on the false Fury or the flying train.
- The film contains a very strange method of humiliation of the audience, which filmmakers for some reason use: first you are teased and made to believe, and then "Haha, what, bought it, fool?" On that saddle. Mysterio is from Earth, but not yours. They have elementals. Galacteco is in danger! And then, "Hoho, there's no multiverse." What a fool could believe such nonsense. So it's not us fools, it's you who showed us back in the "Endgame" that it does exist, there the heroes for stones traveled not to their own, but to the parallel past. Your audience trusts you, and you have invested a million dollars in advertising with this concept. I don’t know why the studios do it, but they like to play it out. Apparently, they think that their viewer should be kept in check.
- In general, the film is very poorly remembered, it has little plot and only one memorable scene: a visual nightmare from Mysterio.
But worst of all, we took this Spider on the promise that the character would grow. But he's not growing. And both creatively and literally: almost 3 years have passed since the time of Citizen, where he was 15 (not counting the 5 years he died), and now he says that he is 16. He was a jester in the first solo book and, having passed the Infinity War, died on another planet and resurrected, he remained a jester! He's a laughing stock, he's the Night Monkey, he gets into embarrassing situations, he takes off his pants at the command of the woman he sees for the first time, and he's photographed the next second. He's bringing and serving for half the characters in his movies. He’s a character who’s always being told what to do. This version of Spider is based only on references, brands, past incarnations. Holland's spider is a pea jester. He's not as pathetic as Toby, because at least he laughs at himself, but he's definitely not a hero. It is both secondary and non-canonical (before him I didn’t even think it was possible). It’s funny, but the iconic character created in Marvel has returned to Marvel to become some completely left-wing dude, an inferior character, in whose stories absolutely everything is replaced.
If it were a movie about some other random character, I could put a 4-5, but as a Spider movie, it's only a 1 because it's a failure of absolutely everything.